your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
