Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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