Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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