Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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