Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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