So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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