Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
