umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my being single is dangerous.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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