my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.