Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
