I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.