I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.