Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.