The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
