Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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