i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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