Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
