Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
