He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
