So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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