So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
