Porn is love you can see.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
