he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
