I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You can't special order awesome
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.