Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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