he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize