Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.