with your own penis?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im so drunk with asians
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me