my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
