it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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