just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
