Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
