butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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