Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
