We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
