I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
