apparently the secret to your success is patron
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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