i think my tv is drunk
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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