I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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