just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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