I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize