I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the condom got lost in my hair
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
