your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
