don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
