I'm really into asian looking animals
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
