That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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