Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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