okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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