Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
