his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
