Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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