The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
