I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
