Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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