Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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