And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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