Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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