...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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