Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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