Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize