At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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