nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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