Nicole vs. Life
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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