I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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