life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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