You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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