tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
