Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
