I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
