Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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